~thoushallbedurp

españa is the road where every..
..intersection has a narration.
..food stall has a recall.
..jeepney is history.
..bus creates a fuss.
..sound is more than just a background.

snap out of it.

it's screaming but i can't hear it.
stubborn me. i always have to complicate things for myself.haha.

you see..
"i’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake"
not by mistake, actually. but by choice. which then makes it less and less bearable.
i chose it.
and to forgive myself is all the effort i CAN'T do.

must drown myself with research papers again!
i should go swim, too.
or maybe, steal a dog.
eat lollipop. reese. and wasabi.

YEAH. I SHOULD DO THAT!

any other suggestions?

SMILE, dear. SMILE.

NO ONE'S GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS! I'M SURE! SO SURE! O_o


in the verge of losing it..
losing it..
losing it..


POINTLESS!

"OHMEGAD U ARE MORE THAN LEGAL NA!"
thanks maui! but what did that suppose to mean? HAHA!

anyway..despite the fact that i surprisingly got sick today, accidentally bumped my head somewhere stupid, and clumsily got "poked" with this tiny metal thing sticking out from a coke cap [woo.morbid(?)]... I GOT MY RAIN TODAY! such a nice feeling to ask for the simplest thing and finally get 'em. PERFECT! ..oh, and i also got a phone from ma. [landline! n_n] it's black. HA! i need stickkerrs!

GOD, I LOOOOVED 18! I LOOOOVED AND STILL, WILL LOOOOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! i screwed up most days but that's basically why it's my best year yet. i dunno. i think 18 just gave me the chance to actually hit my self with some sense in the coming years. and hopefully i cooperate with myself. haha. being a teenager means always being in this certain screwing-up-then-fixing-up process. it has become a vicious cycle really! and since 19 is THE last teen year, i better live it right! right? haha. il try my hardest then. ü

OH YEAH! watch JUNO, people! again, that's JUNO! JUNO! witty movie. witty!

"cause you're, like, the coolest person i've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know..."

being in research, observation becomes innate.

the simplest things catch your attention. you see. you listen. and most of all you remember. sometimes it gets me when all these just circle my mind. i notice myself staring blanky and deeply thinking about so many things. even the ones that may already seem unimportant. and before i know it, i just stressed my futile mind again.

life gives us so much to observe. it's no effort at all.

and maybe the only thing that might make us cringe is the fact that we must not observe only what we like. i stress my mind because i keep in me that bunch of... [i don't even know how to call it anymore.] there are many things you need to just leave. not see. not listen. not observe anymore. but the truth is, it comes proportionally to that instruction that you still have to. and still want to.. at least, for me.

but that's exactly the problem. observation is nothing when you don't put it to paper. when you don't go framing it all out. when you don't experiment. when you don't make conclusions. when you don't present ..AND LET THEM KNOW.. especially now, when you get that feeling that you don't have the chance to.

observation, to tell you, is only the first step of the grueling other steps..

and with that... ugh! >.< still so much to transcribe!
BACK TO WORK, DEAR! WORK!